This is the best time to take a risk.

“We were college sweethearts,” the answer to so many responses of the classic question, “How did you two meet?” Well, at least that is what the perception is. Perception refers to consumer, or this case, human awareness and interpretation of reality. (Babin, 2016, p. 51). Is it reality that most couples meet in college? Probably not, but it still feels like a lot of people do.

College is for a lot of people the first time you get to experience being away from family with no curfews, the first time where time management is completely in your control, and your decision making is in your own hands. A lot of students in college will say, “Well I don’t have the time to be thinking about dating right now, I have to focus on myself.” Sure, I get that, but when will it ever be the “right” time? At least for me, college will be the only time where I can just focus on myself. After I graduate, I will be working on advancing in my career and climbing the social ladder to support and take care of my parents. In college, making mistakes has little consequences, and failures are encouraged. This is the time to take advantage of all the (mostly) smart people around you and build life-long relationships. Life is unpredictable, there will never be a “right” time. The time is now.

When people in this video were asked would you rather be single or in a relationship, not one person said they would be single. “Well there is no one here that fits me,” well that’s what your perception is. Is it reality? (Babin, 2016, p. 51). I don’t think so. In the video, they learned that people are all looking for the same great qualities but we think we’re the only ones who are. People listed qualities they wanted in a partner such as companionship, honesty, friendliness. But when asked, “What do you think it is that other people are looking for in a partner?” those same people stated negative superficial perceptions of what others were looking for in a relationship, listing answers such as "to have someone to have sex with" or "to show off as arm candy." This is evidence that there is a quite a large perception gap between the human awareness of what others are looking for and what they are looking for in reality (Babin, 2016, p. 51).

A lot of us have walls up, heartbroken by our previous relationships in the past. We have all heard about the "Turkey Drop," slang for season where college freshmen dump their high school sweethearts over Thanksgiving break. I was a victim, and it took me almost all of freshman year to get over it. They do say that it takes half of the time a relationship lasted to get over it, and I can believe it. Well, while I was getting over my high school sweetheart break up, so was my current boyfriend, who also broke up with his high school sweetheart around holiday season. We are all going through similar things, and a lot of us have been hurt. We are scared that we might get hurt again by someone who is looking for superficial things, but in reality, everyone feels this way.

When the participants in the video were asked if they had someone in mind who had those qualities they wanted in a partner, almost all of them said yes. They all had positive things to say about the person they had in mind, but were scared to speak up because they did not know how the other person felt. When asked to give the person a call, they were nervous, but they did it, and shared all their thoughts honestly.

How did they feel after? They all felt great! Taking risks is necessary for growth. When you take risks, you learn. Learning refers to a change in behavior resulting from the interaction between a person and a stimulus (Babin, 2016, p. 51). They learned that telling someone how you feel about them is something you will almost never regret. So take risks, you’ll always learn from them!

Babin, B., & Harris, E. (2016). In CB 7 (7th ed., pp. 27-29). Boston, MA: Cengage Learning.

Bernstein., M & Pittman, M. [SoulPancake]. (2014, February 13). Living the Single Life | The Science of Love. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lREZ6Bg_Y4E

Kitchener, C. (2013, November 27). Lots of College Freshmen Are About to Dump Their High School Sweethearts. The Atlantic. Retrieved February 08, 2017, from https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2013/11/lots-of-college-freshmen-are-about-to-dump-their-high-school-sweethearts/281860/